My family, I sincerely believe you all are God’s greatest
blessings to me. Being surrounded by so many people that love me, it is hard to
imagine that some people don’t have it. But it’s the truth. So many people do
not have anyone to call family, but here I am, blessed with one of the best
(okay, I may be a bit bias)…
Anyways, I write this post about my family and to my family
just because this is something that has been on my heart lately (last night),
and I feel like someone else needs to hear this. Listening to a sermon (today)
by Levi Lusko titled “Through the Eyes of a Lion,” really got me thinking about
how special my family is, and how special our story is. I have a beautiful
family: aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. They are all awesome.
However, many, if not all, of you know that we all lost someone very dear to us
in April of 2009. For me a mom, for others a sister, a daughter, a wife, a
friend, all of these things. Even though it’s been over seven years since her
passing (wow), it doesn’t necessarily mean the struggle gets easier. It’s
something I’ve always had trouble with, but I’ve always been really good at
hiding.
Growing up, sometimes I feel like it’s gotten harder every
year, and I always question why this is, because as I have gotten older, I have
also grown in my relationship with Christ. In my mind I wonder, how come I
still get so sad? Why do I still cry? If I know God is for me…why can I still
have this pain? For any of you who have ever struggled or dealt with grief, you
get this. But I think my questions and prayers were answered today in such a
random, comforting, and beautiful way—exactly the way in which God works…
One thing that Levi says in his sermon is this, and I
believe it’s something that everyone who has had a rough time needs to hear (or
in this case, read):
“Where there has been
impossible pain, God always gives incredible power. Why? Because crushing
produces anointing…It is an incredible honor to be entrusted with pain because
it says a lot about what God sees in you and a lot about what He wants to bring
out of you.” (Lusko)
Now I don’t know exactly how this pertains to you, or if it
hit you like it hit me when I heard it, but I replayed it over and over until I
really let it sink in. How beautiful is this? How much different will I view my
struggles now that I have this new perspective of pain? God SEES something in
me, something that I do not even notice in myself. He has a PLAN for me, and it
can be so overused that it loses its power, but seriously, would I want to
forfeit all of the pain I go through if it meant ditching out on the plan GOD
has in store for me? I really do not think so.
Even though I may not see or understand what good can come
out of my mother’s death, I KNOW that something will. God has promised it
[Romans 8:28]. If it is only for me to spread hope and light to one person,
that would be worth it, because I know God has planned it. He is preparing me
for something so much greater than anything I could ever imagine for myself, so
I am willing to struggle. Because I have faith that God is in control. I know
that if anyone can do something good with death, obviously it is He who
defeated death. My prayer is that I, and all who are called, are obedient, but
that’s a different topic.
So I bring this up hopefully to encourage any of you reading
this, however you are suffering, God honestly loves you so much. I cannot
stress enough how MUCH He loves us. He has a plan for us. He has a plan for me.
He has a plan for you. Even in the midst of the trials of life, we cannot see
the other side before we get there, but we forget that God can.
“…So, I pray that God gives
you the grace to suffer well. For whatever [God] allows to come to you, He
intends to put to good use...” (Lusko)
This is astounding. Incredible. Unbelievable. Too good to be
true, but it is.
Fam -- I know it can be hard. But we were put together for a
reason. I love you all so much.
~Kristen~
“God gives his most difficult assignments to his most
trusted soldiers.” –Charles Spurgeon
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of
those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but
not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that
the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-10
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are
wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and
momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs
them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since
what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians
4:16-18
Levi Lusko's Sermon, "Through the Eyes of a Lion"--
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